Divorce Selfies

Yesterday I shared on Facebook an amazing Buzzfeed “article” about Divorce Selfies (also, Bill Murray). Basically, people are getting divorced and taking (mostly) happy pictures of themselves with their ex. There were a few awkward ones where it appears that one party either wasn’t ready for the picture or didn’t really want a divorce. You can’t really tell what’s going on in all of them, a picture may be work a thousand words but those words may not be accurate, but I really love the happy ones.

I think the legal institution of marriage is going to continue to weaken and become more temporary in our world, and that isn’t a bad thing. As a society, we need to recognize that people change and the person we were when we sign a marriage contract (often at a super young age before our brains are fully formed) may not be the same as the person we are 10, 20, or 50 years later. Loyalty to a relationship in which you are no longer happy or no longer helps you grow as a person is not a noble trait. And, as people start to live longer and longer as we inch towards immortality the idea of a committing to an infinite unknown will see ludicrous (check out “The Postmortal” by Drew Magary for a cool dystopian novel that touches on this issue). Additionally, friendship should survive a breakup (as long as nobody was abusive). It is better to end a marriage and remain friends than remain married and end up loathing each other.

I know some people will object to divorce because to them it is a spiritual institution. That is great for those people and a choice they made, but when marriage became a legal institution with benefits that are provided by a secular government the “spiritual” part of it became irrelevant to divorce. I’m not sure how marriage became a legal institution in the United States. I’ve heard all kinds of theories from conservatives wanting to prevent black and white people from marrying each other to the government wanting to discriminate against Mormons to men wanting to be able to legally own women to Christians wanting special treatment under the law, but why it came to be is irrelevant. If something is a legal institution in the United States it is going to expand to include everybody equally (ie Marriage Equality) and people are going to develop a way to alter or leave the contract.

Maybe this should be a lesson to people who want their particular beliefs or institutions to be protected by law. When you get the government involved the incentives may not be what you expect. I think a lot of religious institutions are starting to recognize that, particularly Christianity which has been given special treatment for 200 years. Fox News may claim that there is a “War on Christians” in the United States but that simply isn’t true, the power that Christians hold in this country should never have been concentrated in their hands. They are losing power, yes, but they are losing power they should never have had.

So yes, people are going to get happily divorced and members of the LGBT community will get happily married. Satanists are going to be able to start clubs at high schools and put up monuments on state property as long as Christians can. And as long as city council meetings begin with a prayer then pagans are going to be able to participate. Of course, the simplest solution is to get all religious practices and symbolism completely out of government, but I somehow doubt that will happen any time soon.

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