October 21, 2018 – Morning Journaling

“If you lose your mind, I’ll be your anchor
Holding your body down

I’ll stay a while, from now until late
Two kids in this angel town
I’ll be the soles of your shoes on the ground
Running with you ’til you’re safe and sound
When life hits you hard like a train wreck
Don’t you believe it’ll break ya
I’ma, I’ma be there”
– Krewella, “Be There”

Good morning everyone! (I say at 3pm)

Today got off to a late start because, well, I slept in until 11am. Then I just kind of dicked around the house and hung out with my hot partner until she went to work. Then, finally, at around 1pm I got the day started. So, late start but I did get my “morning” run in, so my half-marathon training is still on track. On to one of my morning readings! I wasn’t really up for diving into the Upanishads or the War of Art, so I just read the basics.

“Daily Affirmations for Forgiving and Moving On” by Tian Dayton

Today’s reading is about being open to receiving the good in life. This really touched a sensitive spot for me and it is something that my therapist and I have been working on. I have a history of self-sabotage (or at least perceived self-sabotage). When I ask myself the questions listed it really brings things to light.

Do I feel worthy of a healthy, happy life? Sometimes…
Do I trust it is possible for life to work out? Sure.
Am I willing to forego my attachment to negativity and control so that my life can be fully positive? I’m trying…

Things are WAY fucking better now than they were earlier this year. My outlook at the beginning of 2018 would have answered these with No, No, and Negativity is the only way I know I am alive. So, progress is being made, especially on question #3. I truly did relate strongly to faults and negativity, I identified by what I was not and what I was against. Those days are fading behind me though, and my life has been better. It is still difficult to eliminate negative views and negative influences, but I’m getting better. 🙂

I hope you all have a wonderful end to your weekend and start to your week!

Feel free to reach out at any of the ways below while I take a Facebook break!

Email address: pjneiger@gmail.com
Instagram: @peterneiger
Questions:  pneiger.sarahah.com or www.surveymonkey.com/r/XYRDXHH
Snapchat: @pneiger
Also, I wrote a book about a cross-country bicycle ride I did!
“Wandering Oak: A Rite of Passage”


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