On The Periphery

There are certain things in my life that always seem to have been floating around the peripheries. Philosophies and ideas that I never quite got motivated enough to research or spend time contemplating. Habits and practices that I never really dedicated myself to developing. Pursuits and creative endeavors that I never quite made time for. These floating possibilities provide different ways I can shape my life, different paths I can take as I explore this (probably) one beautiful life that I have. The pursuit of any of these things with seriousness could shape how I view the world and how the world views me.

Meditation is one of these things.

I’ve long been convinced of the benefits of a meditative practice. I’ve read a few books and heard testimonies from high performers, but I’ve never really been able to make it work. I don’t think it is a coincidence that the most productive, healthy, fit, and happy periods of my life involved meditation. But was I meditating because I was in a productive phase or was I in a productive phase because I was meditating regularly?

I’ve tried a variety of tools like guided meditations online, the Headspace app, and my own failed attempts to just use my willpower, but nothing seems to stick. I try, and I fail, over and over and over again. I don’t really notice any tangible results, it never really got easier. I suck at it… but still it sits, floating seductively on the edge of my consciousness luring me to try it again because maybe, just maybe, this time it’ll stick.

So, I’m going to start giving it another try. But this time, I’m going to get some help. I’ve recently realized that I need professional help to thrive in the way I’d like. My fitness is benefiting from a personal trainer, my mental health from a therapist, my career from a coach, and my overall life from bi-monthly Skype sessions with two dear friends (who in a way are also mentors). I’ve decided to start attending group meditation sessions with the local Buddhist community, Bhavana Community of Coastal Carolina.

I was really inspired when I finished reading (well, listening to), “Hardcore Zen” by Brad Warner. The way the author spoke of zazen has me itching to stare at a wall. We will see how it goes. I’m sure I’ll fail, but I’m equally sure I’ll get back up and keep following the siren-call of silence.

Wanna stay in touch? Got a question for me? Want to tell me why I’m wrong and are curious how I got everything so backward? Have an idea for a blog post? Drunk and wanna send me a snapchat? Wanna become penpals and send each other letters in the mail about life in general?

Feel free to reach out at any of the ways below while I take a Facebook break!

Email address: pjneiger@gmail.com
Instagram: @peterneiger
Questions:  pneiger.sarahah.com or www.surveymonkey.com/r/XYRDXHH
Snapchat: @pneiger
Also, I wrote a book about a cross-country bicycle ride I did!
“Wandering Oak: A Rite of Passage”

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