A few weeks ago I had an hour-long conversation with my career/life/whatever coach. She had some great insight into how I talk about myself and the pressure I put on myself. She also had a little guidance for me and told me to think about spending more time just doing what I want and not doing things because I “should” do them… even when I am the one defining “should”.
I want to be a writer but writing has felt like a chore lately. So, I’m taking a break from trying to write books. I put a lot of pressure on myself and the fruits of that pressure is basically nothing but stress. Instead of writing I’m just diving into my interest in massage therapy. I ordered the textbooks and am reading up on them. I’m excited for this opportunity, even though I’m not sure what direction I will go once I am a certified massage therapist. I have a few ideas though…
Since getting on bupropion and doing some CBT exercises I’ve found it easier to let go of things that no longer serve me. I used to feel guilt and anxiety about not finishing a book or not listening to new episodes of podcasts that I used to like. I felt like I was betraying the people who created them and I felt like I had some moral obligation to stick with them, even when it wasn’t the best use of my time.
That has been less of a problem recently and I’ve grown comfortable putting books away, deleting podcasts that I know I won’t listen to, and being comfortable with the fact that my interests aren’t as “high brow” at this point in my life. Maybe in the future I’ll return to philosophy and economics and such, but for now, I’m trading Rothbard for Rowling and Sam Harris for the McElroy brothers. And I’m really happy that I am. I’m sure my tastes and preferences will fluctuate in the coming months and years, and I hope I continue to feel comfortable bouncing around between them without guilt.
Wanna stay in touch? Got a question for me? Want to tell me why I’m wrong and are curious how I got everything so backward? Have an idea for a blog post? Drunk and wanna send me a snapchat? Wanna become penpals and send each other letters in the mail about life in general?
Feel free to reach out at any of the ways below while I take a Facebook break!
Email address: email@example.com
Questions: pneiger.sarahah.com or www.surveymonkey.com/r/XYRDXHH
Also, I wrote a book about a cross-country bicycle ride I did!
“Wandering Oak: A Rite of Passage”