A couple of days ago I set up a sarahah form ( for myself to receive feedback from my friends. It is an interesting little service that allows people to leave anonymous messages for you and, like many random websites, I’m sure we will all forget that it existed in the next month or so. It has been kind of fun to receive messages though and I decided I wanted to respond to some of the ones I’ve received here.

So, in no particular order, here are what my friends have to say:

“Are you open to sex with a woman other than your wife?”
Yes, I’m open to it, but it isn’t a guarantee. My partner and I would have to discuss it. We are both comfortable with making out with other people and even some acts generally classified as sex (hand stuff, oral, etc) but actual intercourse hasn’t happened yet. We are open to it, but haven’t crossed that bridge yet. We probably will someday, it is just a matter of the right circumstances presenting themselves. My relationship with my partner is the most important thing to me and a situation that is equitable to both of us (foursome or swapping or something) would be more likely to happen. There is no harm in asking me directly though, and at the very least we can probably make out.

“I am intimidated to talk to you because you seem to be on some other level”
Oh man, please don’t be intimidated to talk to me. I’m kind of a hot mess and I have no idea what I’m doing. I can understand what you mean though, I know a lot of people (including some dear friends) who I feel intimidated by and nervous talking to because they are successful or intelligent or attractive. I see them at their best and compare it to all the internal struggles that I know I deal with. I feel very human and they seem superhumen… but in the end we are all just moist meat-suits wandering around a floating rock for a few seconds before death. So, don’t be intimidated… send me a message, say hello, ask me random questions (and maybe allow me to ask you questions)

“I wonder if you’re as generous in bed as you are in everyday life… I’d be willing to bet you are ;)”
I certainly try to be a generous lover, though part of it is a bit selfish. I absolutely love giving other people pleasure (especially oral). I love experimenting and learning what feels good to a partner and allowing them to relax and let me take control. Maybe it is the Dom side in me, but I like to be able to focus on my partner and make their pleasure my priority. One of the best parts of having had multiple partners is I’ve learned how different people are and how a variety of techniques can be developed to bring joy. I realize I am not the best judge of this though and I might be overstating my position, it would probably be better to talk with my partner or people I’ve hooked up with in the past (do you want a list of references?)

“I would be super curious to have a threesome with you and your partner”
Similar to above, we are definitely open to discussing that. It would depend on the specifics and involve some talking and moving slowly, but if you are serious you should provide a way for us to respond directly to each other. We like new experiences and are endlessly fascinated by bodies and the way they work for different people.

“I really enjoy your spirit and input through social media. You give me hope and make me think about what to strive for. Also, you’re super cute, which is awesome. Keep being you.”
Aww, thanks! I’m glad my presence has been a positive one on your life. I will definitely keep being me. And I appreciate you calling me cute, it is nice to receive compliments like that, I kind of beat myself up about my appearance sometimes and it is nice to hear that I am not hideous, I don’t think we compliment each other enough in this life and I don’t think there is anything wrong with noting when a friend is attractive (as long as you aren’t a creeper about it).

“Miss you!”
Miss you too!

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