In keeping with my pursuit of deeper conversations and connections with friends (and future friends), here is an update on my week, the intimate and mundane. If you’d like to start a conversation with me using this post as a prompt, or really using anything you want as a prompt, please email me at email@example.com . Or, if you’d like to send me an anonymous message or question to respond to you can message me at pneiger.sarahah.com or www.surveymonkey.com/r/XYRDXHH. I won’t really be checking Facebook or other social media networks consistently.
March started off pretty well for me. My partner and I went over to a friend’s house last week for wine and snacks and had an incredibly good time. Making friends for two introverts like us can be tough in a new city and I finally start to feel like we have some friendships blossoming. Even when we meet people it seems difficult to get out there and do things. Life gets busy and we don’t feel like doing much more than Netflix at night, or we do things but they are kind of spontaneous and I feel awkward randomly inviting people at the last minute (I’m getting over this, though). Regardless, the friendships are developing and I hope more nights like last Thursday will happen soon. It was really the first time that we’ve found people who were not judgmental about some of the, umm, less conventional parts of our lives. Basically, it was the first time I felt like I could discuss my drug use in a place where people understood, had similar experiences, and possibly still enjoyed the occasional roll (nobody else admitted to doing it semi-regularly like me but it seemed possible other MDMA users were in the house). I’m trying to make a much more conscious effort to reach out to people and create opportunities to hang out.
On Friday, our favorite bottle shop, “Hey! Beer” had their third anniversary and it was a madhouse. There were so many people there that we couldn’t really enjoy a board game and stuff like we (somewhat) planned. I am really happy for the owners though, our favorite place has really grown in popularity over the last year, but the chill atmosphere we love about it isn’t really present during big events. I’ll always still go out and support them but my expectations are shifting.
My weekend was mostly filled with catching up on work. A deadline was pushed up a bit and I had to focus on finishing a project. Not an ideal weekend, but it didn’t take too long.
The big highlight from this week (so far) was seeing a therapist for the first time in a long time. I met with a psychologist and discussed my nutrition, the stuff I’m struggling with, goals and such. After hearing about the things I was struggling with we came up with a CBT plan, he gave me some books to read, and then he referred me to a psychiatrist to see if medication might help me during the weeks before CBT can take hold. The psychiatrist asked me some similar questions and then came up with a medication plan (Wellbutrin) that he thinks will help. We are going to reevaluate in a few weeks. I’m on my fourth day with Wellbutrin and it has been a really solid week, I feel good and productive but part of me wonders if that might be a placebo effect. So far, no real side effects except a slightly diminished appetite and a higher sex drive.
One thing that really stood out to me about this whole experience was how focused they were on my diet and exercise. They really wanted to make sure I was getting the nutrition I needed and plenty of outdoor time first before turning to any medication. It was actually reassuring and nothing like the “just drug them up” mentality that I thought a lot of psychiatrists had. Actually, after some research and talking with my psychologist, it really sounds like general practitioners prescribing psychiatric medicines are the ones who are doing it improperly, not mental health professionals.
On Tuesday I went and got a massage from an amazing massage therapist in town. I met her through a friend and she really knew how to work the muscles that were tight and aching. 10/10 Will be back soon.
I haven’t really created any writing this week (except for the daily blog posts below), but I did get a fair amount of reading done.
“Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies, and the Truth about Reality” by Brad Warner
“Psychedelic Medicine: The Healing Powers of LSD, MDMA, Psilocybin, and Ayahuasca” by Dr. Richard Miller
“Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” by J.K. Rowling
“Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World” by Cal Newport
“The Batterer: A Psychological Profile” by Donald Dutton
“Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World” by Robin Ochs
This week has been a really good one for my fitness. I’ve had a great session with my trainer, went to Outside the Box Fitness on Tuesday, they gym yesterday, and biked, rucked almost every day. I’m really starting to notice progress in my appearance (though, I’m not sure if the pictures are showing it). I’m happy with how things are looking into “More Muscle March” and I think I’ll be near my next weight milestone by mid-April. Oh, I actually hit my first weight milestone this week when the scale was in the 160’s for the first time in nearly a year. Yay!
So, here is what my next week looks like so far:
- Physical therapist appointment today
- Work on and complete a new work assignment that I’m actually pretty excited about
- Anna’s going to be basically away for the whole week with work
- I want to check out the Unitarian Church on Sunday
- Normal workout stuff: personal trainer on Monday, gym 2-3 other times, get outside daily for running/rucking/cycling
- Dental appointment on Monday
- Zen meditation group on Tuesday that I want to check out
- Hope to finish two more books
Wanna stay in touch? Got a question for me? Want to tell me why I’m wrong and are curious how I got everything so backward? Have an idea for a blog post? Drunk and wanna send me a snapchat? Wanna become penpals and send each other letters in the mail about life in general?
Feel free to reach out at any of the ways below while I take a Facebook break!
Email address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Questions: pneiger.sarahah.com or www.surveymonkey.com/r/XYRDXHH
Also, I wrote a book about a cross-country bicycle ride I did!
“Wandering Oak: A Rite of Passage”